Thinking & Feeling 1.11.17

Feeling: 

Existential Crises.  All day, every day.

Watching: 

Sister Wives new season.  It's my one reality TV indulgence.  Cody has shown so much growth and maturity and love this season.  It's the only show I watch with in 24 hours of being out as well.  I don't know why it entrances me. Psychology probably.

Listening:

This one is hard.... I haven't really been listening to anything.  Oh I know, hockey podcasts. CBJ in 30 and BLR .   If you want to hear me talk about hockey check out JacketCast. 

Playing:

Just finished my yearly play through of Dragon Age Origins and am currently playing the first Fable game for the first time.  Seeing the evolution of that game is super interesting.

Reading:  

I just finished  "Tears in the Wind: Triumph and Tragedy on America's Highest Peak"  by Larry Semento .  I should probably write an old fashioned Musings book review on it.  I've been obsessed with all things mountain since my injury.  No idea why, but this is probably the 10 th book I've read about mountain climbing and I've watched every documentary on Netflix and Amazon.

Looking forward to:   

4 day weekend coming up!

Making me happy:  

Let's go with mountains.  

2016 The Year Of The Existential Crises

In my last post I said that my big crush was Braden Holtby.  We decided to go to a Capitals home game and spend a week in Washington DC.  In the days preceding that trip, I got the stomach flu.  The worst stomach flu of my life.  I thought I sprained my neck during the illness.  It got to the point where I couldn't open my jaw wide enough to eat.  I went to get a massage hoping that would help and it did not.  The day before we were suppose to leave I went to the Urgent Care to try to get muscle relaxers.  They wouldn't see me because they thought it was meningitis.  I was outraged and almost didn't go to the ER.  We were leaving in the morning and I thought I would just power through it.  Luckily, I decided to go to to a little ER near my house.  There weren't many cars in the parking lot so I decided to go in.  The DR in the ER thought I was right and that I had a sprained neck.  But he wanted do to a CT scan first just to make sure.

He came into my room and said "Your left vertebral artery is dissected and there is a blood clot, we need to send you to a different hospital is there anyone you need to call?"  I asked him if I my husband should come to where we were ( am I going to die now) or should he go to the hospital they were sending me to.  He said he could go to the other hospital.  Which was also an indication of how fast they planned on getting me to the other hospital.

I spent 7 days in the hospital.  After more procedures they found out both arteries were torn.  I was on super mega blood thinners, lifting restrictions, driving restrictions, nerve blockers....so many drugs.  I did not work for three months.

As you can imagine almost dying has led to some serious life reviewing.  On top of the that, in December I was told I would be laid off this year.  It is obvious that there is a giant neon arrow flashing in front of me and that I am suppose to go do something different with my life.  I just can't read the wording on the sign yet.