Little Things 5.12.13

1. Mountain Dew Kick Start

Orange Citrus!!!!

Love it, love it, love it.   Part of it might be because I am avoiding pop 98% of the time so a drink of this is like heaven.  It's only 80 calories, 95 mg of caffeine and just enough flavor make enjoyable.  I don't drink coffee and I hot tea is not really my thing after March.  Most energy drinks taste like cough syrup and have a bajillion calories.  This is a great alternative for me.

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2.  Kindle

You wouldn't notice it by the lack of reviews.  If you lived with me you wouldn't notice either as I have been having a hard time sitting down and reading lately.  HOWEVER.  I've been buying lots of books and am really excited about reading the things that I am not reading.  If that makes any sense.  I may have even done the Kindle before on this list.... Oh well.

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3.  Candy Crush

Really late on this, but I've been playing for the last week.  It's a lot of fun.  A lot of frustration and a lot of time killing ( maybe why I am not reading?) but it's fun.

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4.  New Hair Color and Cut

I have two psychological tells that I feel out of control with my life.  My eating and my hair.  I cut it all off and dyed it uber blonde.  I asked for them to cut it just above my shoulders and they cut it to my chin, but I still like it.  I need to figure out what to do with the color next round though.  This color will not grow out well.

5. Tootsie Pop Drops

Have you tried these?  They are everything awesome about tootsie pops with less pop and more variety.  I fine them rarely but I am always happy when I do.

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What's making you happy?

New Years Resolution - May Follow Up

The year is almost half way done.  Can you believe it?  Are you proud of what you've accomplished so far?  I am not on track for all of my goals.  I am a little behind from last year too.  But I am ok with what I've done so far.  I have not fallen entirely off the wagon.  I originally listed my New years goals here but it looked like this.

Have not started hill training.  Really don't want to, I hate hills lol.  The weather didn't start being half way decent here until last week.  Hopefully now I can get out of the gym and onto my bike.  And the to some hills....maybe.

Foot Dr!  I have not been.  I have been to a Chiro, a dermatologist, a gynocologist and probably some other gyst I can't remember.  It is definitely getting to that point though.  I am starting to get knee pain and I think it's from how badly I walk.  Maybe June is my month!

Oh stretching every morning.  Stretching every morning has come up on every health goal list I have ever made for myself ever.  Since the beginning of time.  I have never, ever stuck to it.  My husband and I have started a new work schedule though, so maybe I can actually start doing this.  I WANT to.  I just have to remember.  Google calender time!

Training for the century ride hasn't started yet because I can't make myself go out on my bike in 45 degree weather.  This will also be starting up again soon.

I don't know if I hit 4 days a week consistently but besides a few off weeks I worked out 2-3 time s a week very consistently this year.  I could have done better, but I am happy with what I have done.  Not to be repetitive but the nicer the weather is the easier it is for me to work out.  I am really looking forward to getting out and exploring more.

Tracking my calories!   Spotty to begin with but I've had a solid 4 or so weeks so far.  Hopefully the habit keeps my scale moving downward and encourages me to eat more mindfully.

That's my progress!  How is yours?

Emotional Eating and Me. Part I

I don't actually have a follow up planned for this post.  Every blog I have ends up with an emotional eating post so this blog ( that I've had for almost a WHOLE year now, yay me!) May end up with multiple.  I mentioned in this post that I was feeling sad, anxious and lost.  That equated to a whole week of crappy, crappy eating.  I had spent the three weeks before last week counting calories and was down 3 lbs.  Now I am afraid to get on the scale.

I have been talking to myself about this all week.  Telling myself I was a 31 year old woman with a bachelors degree in Psychology and that I knew exactly what was going on.  Telling myself to get a new coping mechanism.  Telling myself I was going to hate myself at the end of this ice cream filled tunnel and that I should just go to the gym instead.

I thought I was having this battle on my own.  Then Sunday night my husband said to me " We've been emotionally eating all week."  All I could was make jokes and cry.  Not bawling and thrashing around on the ground or anything, just the same crying I've been doing the entire last week.  Silent tears and nose blowing.

The point is, every time I think I've made steps to get my relationship with food under control I prove myself wrong.  The binge eating I've had a fairly good handle on for at least 5 years now.  The scary 3 dinners and dessert kind.  However, the eating of my feelings always sneaks back up to get me.  My husband pointed out that we don't drink, we aren't on drugs and that this is temporary.  We know that eventually we can get over it.   That this isn't the worst thing that we could be doing to ourselves.

I've mentioned it out loud a few times and I think that it's true.  Before I can truly be successful at weight loss and maintenance I am going to have to really work on my relationship with food.  Not ignore it and hope that it will go away, not tell myself that I am cured because I haven't had an episode in three months, but really work on it. 

I am not sure where that path starts.  Maybe I should go to talk to a counselor?  I feel like a nutritionist should be somewhere on that list too.  There are two questions really.  Where do I start and when will I get sick enough of it that I am willing to do something about it.  Amanda Palmer wrote a blog with this story in it, that I try to use for motivation and perspective.

"A farmer is sitting on his porch in a chair, hanging out with his dog.

A friend walks up to the porch to say hello, and hears an awful yelping, squealing sound coming from the dog.

“What’s the matter with Ol’ Blue?” asks the friend.

“He’s layin’ on a nail that’s pokin’ up from the floorboards,” says the farmer.

“Why doesn’t he just sit up and get off it?” asks the friend.

The farmer deliberates on this and replies: “Don’t hurt enough yet.”

The problem is, sometimes it hurts to much to move.  I am hoping after some of the ache and screaming inside of me calms down a little bit, that I can get my ass off the nail and start dealing with one of the biggest struggles of my life.

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The Reason For God - Study

I am going to be participating in Stefanie from Ni Hao Y'all's study of the "The Reason For God".  I didn't plan on sharing my side of the study here until I received an email from Stefanie.  She mentioned that posting on our personals blog about it and it sounded like a great idea.

 I talk about goals here a lot.   Mostly my exercise goals.  A goal that I have not shared with you is more of a spiritual nature.  During 2011 I had three surgeries and spent a lot of time being ill.  I spent a lot of time watching TV (we still had cable then).  Specifically History Channel International and The Naked Archaeologist.  While you can find more criticism of the show than positives, I loved it.  Between that and the nature of being home and in pain all the time, I found myself turning to my faith more.

That was 2 years ago and I have not made the progress I wanted too.  One of the things I wanted to start doing was spending time every day either doing a devotional or reading the Bible.  I picked this up 100 times and forget after a day two 101 times.  One of the things that Stefanie asked us to do was "Set aside at least 15 minutes every morning to pray or read the Bible or just sit quietly with the Lord." .  Which gives me my 102 opportunity to start working on this again.

The reason I signed up for her study was so I was forced to work on my spirituality.   Her encouragement of prayer and quiet time with God is helping me to keep focused and stay active in my relationship with God.

I am excited for this study, I am excited to have the excuse/outside reason to study the Bible and to spend time in prayer.  I plan on keeping a journal for my self ( another suggestion) as well as trying to post about the study and how I am feeling and growing here once a week.  Chapter 1 of the study goes up on Ni Hao Y'all on May 14.  Wish me luck!

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A Good Way to Get Back to Blogging

I saw this on Running with Tongs and thought it would be a good idea to steal.  Give me a little direction to get back to blogging.  I am really struggling with really wanting to write and really wanting to read but really not doing anything.

Thinking about:  Vacation!  Really really, really want to start planning it and setting up reservations.  Really.  We've decided to go back to the beach this year and I am looking forward to waves and relaxation.  Come on Groupon!

Feeling:  Really sad, anxious, and lost.  We have another week or two of guess work and then we have to make a big decision.  And every variation of that decision makes me want to curl up in a ball and hide.

Watching: Nashville.  So random, I don't even like country music.  It is entertaining me, and even pushing out the Good Wife during my TV watching time.  ( You don't know it, but I am mildly obsessed with the Good Wife.  Team Will!)

Reading:  I just finished Murder on The Mind and have started The Fifth Avenue Series.  Murder on the mind was meh, thinking about giving the series one more book to reel me in.  I am 18% of the way through The Fifth Avenue series and it is losing me.  At least 10 character's story lines going on right now, no forward motion, and I don't care about any of them.  $6 down the drain.

Looking forward to: A quiet (er) weekend coming up.  Time to clean the house and hopefully nice weather for a bike ride.  I've been gyming it up lately thanks to the crappy, crappy weather.

Making me happy:   My ridiculous little dog.  Who is ridiculous.